The last time I was in Ottawa, the capital of my country, I was 17 years old. That was over twenty years ago now. A time before cell phones, digital cameras, Windows, and the internet you're now reading this on. CDs were cutting edge and too expensive for me; I was still buying hits on 45s, playing them on a turn table and recording them on cassettes to listen to in a Walkman that actually had moving parts. Yeah, okay, you get the picture, right? It's been a while.
At various moments sober and drunk in the past few years I've wistfully remarked to friends that someday, invariably "soon", I meant to go back. I've always felt "Canadian", but when I was there in my youth, it gained a real substance. Standing on Parliament Hill as the Peace Tower's carillon played that day long ago, I realized, palpably, that I was standing in places that I shared with millions of other people I'd never meet... some because they lived far away, but -- and this was what really took hold of me -- many more because they had already lived and died, or would be born after I was dead. It was the first time in my life I got a real sense of the nation as a river, something in which I was embedded for a moment, but that had existed before me and would (I certainly hope) exist long after me. That I was a moment in that, and instance of it. From childhood I had always known Canada belonged to me; suddenly there was a sense that I belonged to it. And that was a revelation to me; a moment in growing up and stepping just a bit outside of myself.
I don't really think I can ever quite recapture that moment but I did want to revisit its circumstances. I never took it upon myself to do so. Both Toronto and Ottawa are in Ontario, but, Ontario's a big place. Ottawa's at least a four hour drive away, and effectively that means it's not a day trip... unless your idea of a day trip is to drive till you get within sight of a place, glimpse it, do a U-turn and go home. Ottawa meant planning, hotels, expenses. No reason I couldn't have done it, but all that is very lonely if you're going by yourself. Wonder is meant to be shared.
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Update: Nov. 24, 2007. I have added the following video, which is a ten-minute vignette of some of the things I recorded during the trip. Hope you enjoy.
Showing posts with label Changing of the Guard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Changing of the Guard. Show all posts
Saturday, July 28, 2007
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