There's this other friend of Jody's; guy I met at the memorial. It's a long story, but in the course of things, Jody saved his life. The guy's been through a lot, and I guess has a pretty maudlin disposition... so do I, but not like this. I've been to his LJ and he sounds as bleak now as most people would be in the first week after losing someone.
Jody meant a lot to him. He meant something to Jody; they were friends most of a decade. In recognition of that, I've been trying really hard to engage this guy in a dialogue. He seemed to want a friend when I was in Dallas. But now that I'm making the attempt, the couple of replies I've gotten are about how he's not fit company (well, thanks... how about if I be the judge of that?). Meanwhile, he keeps wailing for help in his LJ. Okay, some guys need to be wooed... you know, yes, your feelings are special... some folks need that recognition before they'll open up. But there's something a little unseemly about this. Jody's roommates, who lived with him for years and years, are not behaving this way... neither is his father... all of whom have a lot more reason to feel like this, but are keeping their noses above water. I'm beginning to suspect this guy enjoys wallowing in self-pity because it's the only thing that makes him feel special. I want to help him. Jody saw something of value in this guy. But I admit, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm on a fool's errand here. I don't want to believe all this guy wants to do is drink his own tears, but it's starting to look that way.
I don't want to give up on a friend of Jody's, someone I could help, and maybe befriend. But this is two-way street. This guy's howling from a burning building while he shoots out the tires of my fire truck. Wherever Jody is, I can't imagine he's very pleased to see his friend treating his efforts and kindness (or mine, for that matter) with such contempt.
1 comment:
Some people will deal with loss differently than others. It's difficult to judge the guy your refering to in comparison to Jody's father or roomates. The guy had a different relationship. Now I cant even begin to imagine the relationship Jody had with anyone (not having known the man myself), however I to have lost people close to me. I can only tlak from that experience and say that diferent relationships will cause people to react tot he loss differently. Perhap this guy was "saved" by Jody in some way. Perhaps tha man has other issues that prevent him from "healing" enough to get back into life. Perhaps he has displaced guilt and cannot allow himself to heal...
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