Saturday, October 28, 2006

Snippy-snipey

Just a couple of observations on my return from an afternoon foray to the City of Toronto Archives...

Something I've noticed about Toronto, and this seems to be fairly consistent, is that no matter what way you choose to get somewhere in this city, on any particular day, it's the wrong fucking way. Whatever it is. Whatever makes sense will be rife with construction. Whatever looks brilliant on the map will be unaccountably packed with traffic. Whatever ought to be smooth sailing will be headed by an idiot who's afraid to press his/her foot to the scary pedal on the right of the brake. And people wonder why anyone would choose to live in Mississauga, Markham, or Vaughan.

And why is it, please, that the fucking idiot in the Hummer six inches behind you who's apparently dying to drive 140 km/h in a 60 zone instantly wants to drive 35 the moment he actually gets in front of you? And why do so many of these shitheads drive Hummers in the first place? If your idea of a stylish ride dead-ends at driving a fucking paddy wagon, why not save yourself some money and wait till the Keystone Kops are done with theirs and pick it up cheap?

Yeah, it was a fun afternoon... thanks for asking. :)

4 comments:

Polt said...

I walk everywhere once we're in Toronto. Getting there it's just the QEW and then right up Yonge street to the hotel. The traffic problem we have is people stopping the right lane to unload something, thus forcing everyone to merge into the left lane, and creating a backup.

But when this happens, my friends is usually driving and I'm drooling out the window at all the cute guys walking by. :)
So I hardly notice.

Lone Primate said...

The traffic problem we have is people stopping the right lane to unload something, thus forcing everyone to merge into the left lane, and creating a backup.

It can be unmerciful. The worst street I've ever seen for that is Spadina Avenue. I used to work near College and Spadina, and I swear that despite the fact I was coming in from northwest Mississauga, driving up Spadina was a third of my trip. People seemed to be under the misapprehension that so long as they put their hazard lights on, Spadina Avenue was a vast kiss 'n ride parking lot. They're lucky I wasn't under the misapprehension that a similar dispensation from the rules existed concerning aluminum baseball bats.

Anonymous said...

I just came back from a week in and around Pittsburgh, and I can say I do NOT miss the traffic. I'm not surprised that there is road rage. I'm surprised there's not MORE of it and/or that there aren't gunfights. Just being in Pittsburgh traffic brought up memories of past road rage incidents, and I found myself getting worked up all over again.

I don't have that problem in Eugene. Granted, I'm on the bus, but even so, there isn't the traffic problems in the first place.

Lone Primate said...

I don't have that problem in Eugene. Granted, I'm on the bus, but even so, there isn't the traffic problems in the first place.

Elbow room, elbow room, got to got to get us some elbow room... it's the west or bust, in God we trust, there's a new land out there... :)