Thursday, January 05, 2012

Dreams on the weird

A couple of nights ago I had, again, this recurring dream that's kind of plagued me for years. I'm in my early 20s and still in high school... six or seven years in. I'm cutting classes, missing classes, forgetting courses, realizing too late I've missed exams... Now, this was not me in high school. In the five years (there was also a grade 13 in Ontario at the time) I went to high school, I confused the time for one mid-term exam (and was allowed to make it up) and cut one class--to go to the office and file to drop that class, with the teacher's permission (and amazingly, I still got called to the VP's office!). I was yer own model nerd student... if not really the best student, but that's a different matter, right? :) I never flunked anything in high school, thought I'm pretty sure I got a pity pass in relations and functions in grade 13. But anyway... I think this is really about my years in university. Once the reins were off I did get pretty sloppy about attendance, I did blow some courses out my ass in the first two years, and I did find myself waking up to find I'd missed deadlines. I straightened out in third year.

[As an aside... a long one... once I went into my Chaucer class to learn we had till four that day to hand in our essays worth 30% of the year or something... I'd utterly forgotten about it. I left the class in a daze, wandered to the library, grabbed a couple of books, drove home—thank heavens I had the car that day—hammered something out, drove back, and in dread, handed in what I'd cobbled together. Got an A. Still can't believe it. Not the way I'd ever want to do it again.]

I think it's also about my job. These days, there's tons of red tape, paperwork, things coming from all angles from umpteen different people. It's very easy for things to slip through the cracks, and while I can juggle a couple of things that I'm proficient at and not lose track, managing everyone else's little bureaucratic dotted i's and crossed t's is not my forte. I think this is my subconscious stirring up.

* * * * *

The other dream, from last night, is a little more prosaic. I don't remember much except the end. I was in the forest, alone, wandering nature. It was an area of pine forest with narrow ridges that ran between ponds. Not confined to the trails, I was in and out of the ponds and streams as well as it suited me. I came up out of one pond onto a very narrow ridge between it and another pond, and followed it into the forest. For some reason, I turned around and came back. I noticed a pair of very large, very deep footprints in the mud near where I'd come up. But there weren't my footprints. I remember thinking, hey, great, another barefoot hiker, wonder where they are? But I noticed there was no heel mark, and the five toes were all in a line, each dotted with a claw. They were as wide as my hand is long from wrist to fingertips. Ah, I realized with some alarm, a bear. Not the kind of barefoot hiker I wanted to meet. I wonder where— I looked to my right to the other pond, and on the far bank, about 20 yards away, was a big brown bear. Grizzly. He noticed me at just about the same time. With a roar, he charged, splashing through the pond and up the ridge at me.

And, as per the cliche, that's when I woke up.


jim said...

I'm facing a lot of bureaucratic nonsense at work, too. I wonder what my dreams would be saying if I could ever remember them.

barefoot hiker said...

Oh, I can see it now, Jim. Stuck on the interstates... glimpses of forgotten pavement through the trees... hints of overgrown bridges as you zip across rivers... looking for the exits! Why are they so far apart? Backtracking... where was that patch? Where is the old road to the river? Ack! Onramp! No!! :)