Would you like a little umbrella in that?

Yesterday afternoon I was standing in line at the LCBO to buy a bottle of Black Seal rum (my fave). I was behind some guy who, from the looks of him, probably turned booze-legal sometime that morning — happy birthday. He was in the process of buying two four-packs of something self-described as "strawberry pineapple hard lemonade". And I find myself thinking, "Jesus, buddy, why don't you wait half an hour and I'll piss in some Kool-ade for you?" And suddenly I had all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. I dunno; maybe you had to be there. :) Anyway, this stuff didn't even come up to that Kids In the Hall "Girl-Drink Drunk" skit. Cut the price in half, sell it in a drugstore with instructions to spit it out, and it would be mouthwash. If you have to disguise booze as Hawaiian Punch just to get it down, maybe you should just stick to Hawaiian Punch.