London's brain is falling down, falling down, falling down...

Primate New Service

LONDON — In chorus with the State of Michigan, the City of London, Ontario, announced today that it doesn't want Toronto to put its garbage in a big hole in the ground near London.

"Who the hell is Toronto to use my hole in the ground?" whined London. "It's not my fault 2.5 million people make garbage and have 'no place to put it'. Why don't they store it in the garage, or in the back yard? Frankly, I wish Toronto would just go away someplace. Disappear. It's nothing but a big pushy nuisance, and everyone would be better off without it if it just vanished off the face of the Earth."

Even as London warmed to the idea of the elimination of Toronto, it suggested Toronto should "keep sending the money, though."