Thursday, May 26, 2005

In fact it sucked

Oh yeah, and Thursday sucked. I headed to work early to get a jump on whatever revisions anyone sent me for the release notes I was working on, and of course the traffic was the shits any way I turned. Exiting the 404 to Hwy 7, stuffed. So I took the 407 to Warden; that's gonna cost me $8. Then I couldn't get on Apple Creek. Up to 16th. On and on, more traffic at every turn. A 15 minute trip turned into 40, eating up the extra time.

Worked on the notes during the day, and just when I thought I had it, I remembered the project manager had suggested having a section for the patches we'd done to the previous iteration. Never been in the release notes before, and this was my first crack doing it. Like a fool, I called him up to find out if he wanted all the defects related to them in there, or just the ones already in scope for the document. He involved my boss, and she wasn't pleased. I was on the phone with her with one of the business analysts in our office, and when she said she was "disappointed" because this was happening like an hour before the deadline, I felt two inches tall. Ever since I was transferred to this new section I've felt like a disorganized fuck-up. Not only do I no longer expect to be promoted, I'm not sure she'll keep me around. Probably wouldn't take much at this point.

Anyway, we ended up working like mad to plug the hole, and I was there till 7 getting it straightened out (I had to leave a message with P-Doug at work telling him I'd have to give the IMAX show a pass this evening... figures it would be the one night in the year). Turned out we only needed to add three tickets and amend a handful of others, but the damage was done. She knew I'd let it slip past me, and I've probably used up the last of the confidence she has in me. She's been spoonfeeding me the job for six months or more and she's probably wondering what the fuck the company kept me around for this long, but I never had the demands on me like this previously. It's not that there's too much to do, it's just that everywhere I turn now, there's more detail, more fucking red tape. It's too hard to keep it all straight. It's beyond my capacity. I probably shouldn't be doing this job.

She's off tomorrow and Monday (Memorial Day in the US), so a bit of the pressure's off, but she's going to remembering how I fucked up come Tuesday. Man, I don't know what to say. Anthony, the guy I was working with this afternoon, seems to feel it was all smoothed over, but he has her confidence. She knows he's competent. I feel like I'm right back at square one, which is a shitty place to be five years and change into the job, and eight months into the position.


Anonymous said...

Mo Chara
Dont presume to to know what your boss is thinking, she knows you are capable of the job else she wouldnt have given you the task in the first place. She is also high enough up the ladder to know that mistakes will be made and shit happens...thats all part of business.
As to being promoted, do you think she didnt make mistakes in her past, of course she did, everyone does.
Dont sweat,
OK, it was your boo-boo this time, but nothing that couldnt be fixed ..right??
As a superior, its part of her deal to catch you guys when you fall cos in the end its you guys who keep her up there, in the lap of luxury.
Trust your co-worker, if he says its all smoothed over, then chances are it is. You put her on a spot, she had to deal with it, but isnt that why they're paid the mega-bucks,to handle crisis situations?
She's away for a couple of days, she will have forgotten the incident by then..and if your corporation is big enough, she probably has forgotten you name too!
It would be a different story if you were constantly fucking up, but you know yourself that you rearly miss much and are pretty much a veteran in your field, this is a new field, treat the incident as a learning experience and get over it.
Anyhow, I was going to ring you either Sat or sunday, so be prepared...and I'll try not to be wasted>lol
My e-mail is all screwed up again..accounts for why I havent been in touch. Sammy says Hi!

Lone Primate said...

Thanks, Dub-D... I appreciate your kind words. I feel like I am constantly fucking up, though. So when you call, I might be wasted. :)
I'll likely be out most of the day Saturday. I'm not sure what, if anything, will be going on in the evening, but that would be kind of late for you anyway. How's your dad doing?

Anonymous said...

Dont you mean my sneaky Dad
My Dad is fine considering, that old bastard is still shaking the Devil by the Tail...
He told me that he was off the cigarettes and that he hasnt had a drink for ages, I went the pub last Friday and a guy we know strolls up to me and says...
Here! Your Dad left these here on Wednesday and hands me a pack of cigarettes..
He has been sneaking to the pub behind my back and smoking to boot...
I confronted him about it and we both ended up in knots of laughter.
Like the old joke.
Priest stands up in front of the crowd and declares "I dont drink, dont smoke and dont cuss"..He reaches in his pocket,
Ah Bollox! dont tell me I've left me smokes in the pub again.