Monday, August 16, 2004

Biggles! Put her in... THE COMFY CHAIR!!!

Oh, yeah, before I forget (again)... that really horrid chair I mentioned about a week ago? Well, when P-Doug and I were back down there boozing yesterday, he found a brouchure from that furniture place. Believe it or not, they actually feature a photograph of that chair in their sales pitch. Sure, wouldn't you showcase a rusted-out 1978 Datsun on your BWM lot? I know I would.

Now, I couldn't swear to it, but I'm willing to bet this is the chair the representatives of the Family Compact—uh, I mean, the Government of Upper Canada—used to force confessions out of Peter Matthews and Samuel Lount just before they were hanged after the Rebellions of 1837. Is this the chair that saved the British Empire in North America? Hoorah!

* * * * *

...Well, I was going to show you the chair, but the nice people at LiveJournal only want us to put up really awe-inspiring pictures no bigger than 100x100 pixels. So if I ever want to show you a really detailed picture of one of my toenails (other than either of the big ones, that is), we're all in luck... otherwise, we're SOL. Alright, fair enough; so thenI thought I'd show you the picture via a link to the furniture company's website, but of course they, like every other prissy cocksucker in the world at the moment, are busy "updating" their website. Why does it never occur to these assholes to update their fucking websites BEHIND THE SCENES, leaving the old one up till they're ready with the new one, instead of expecting the rest of us to leap to our feet clapping in joy and dancing aroundso ecstatically that we fling shit at each other like water balloons? Oh, do I sound a little pissed off, overpriced-antique jerkoffs? Sorry. And sorry to you too, folks. Despite my clever wit and biting sarcasm, the Internet has entirely let us down and you'll just have to continue to imagine what otherwise might have taken your breath away but for the meanness of LiveJournal and the obliviousness of the furniture twerps. >:(

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Furniture really gets you going... I never knew!